FOR PARENTS

You are taking the first step to stop sibling bullying-abuse in your home by informing yourself.

You love your kids—and there is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

Let’s dig in together… you can do this! All things are possible with God.

1. Significant age, maturity, or intelligence gaps
2. Significant differences in temperament
3. One sibling more physically dominant
4. One sibling more emotionally assertive or dominant
5. One child recruiting other siblings to gang up on another sibling
6. One sibling more manipulative or cunning
7. Any child who is more naïve, innocent or suggestible
8. Any child whose lack of experience is used as a weakness by older siblings
9. Any child who is frequently rejected by their siblings
Siblings provoking physically weaker siblings even in low-level ways.
Siblings and/or their friends “ganging up” on another sibling.
Siblings assigning derogative labels or nicknames to another sibling.
Brothers commenting on a sister’s physical appearance or attractiveness.
Poor self-image, struggles with weight, or excessive dieting/exercise can become a life-long symptom of sibling bullying.
Siblings interacting with pillows, sleeping bags or other bedding used for suffocating or threatening suffocation. (Claustrophobia can be a lifetime symptom of sibling aggression.)
Siblings interacting with sharp objects, ropes, cords, sticks, tools, etc.
Siblings exhibiting suggestive touch, touching or pinching another sibling’s bottom, tickling under the arms or at mid-section. (Signs of sexual abuse are not always hidden.)
Stronger children physically touching, hitting, slapping, pinching or poking.

Parental comparison or criticism of a particular child by rejecting or saying “why can’t you be more like your sibling”
“Parentifying” an older sibling or assigning responsibility for the care of younger siblings
Perceived parental favoritism or inconsistent discipline toward younger siblings; pay attention to fathers favoring later-born daughters
Overly-harsh discipline for failing to meet school/athletic performance or household expectations
Parental modeling of abuse or household conflict
Critical or discontented attitude toward your spouse or child’s other parent (click here to learn how to improve your marriage…)

As a parent, you must deal with the effects of fallen human nature. If you have yet to deal with your own fallen nature, your child will also feed off your aggressive or coercive tendencies.
If you follow the trends of this fallen world, aggression will likely follow you.
Our emotions and beliefs are easily confused as part of our identity. So, we all must know the truth that sets us free!
If you are human, then your family is susceptible to sibling abuse. It isn’t personal! The problem didn’t start with you… remember Cain and Abel?
Sibling abuse is prevalent in all socioeconomic strata. It’s as common in affluent families as any other.
It is often normalized in male dominant cultures when older brothers target younger sisters... and just as likely perpetrated by older sisters onto younger male or female siblings.
Children with developmental challenges like autism can be targets of sibling bullying-abuse. Unfortunately they also can be the source of the abuse.
Research is also showing a possible link between autistic behaviors and sibling abuse victimization.
Professionals, particularly in education and childcare, often lack training to recognize or prevent sibling bullying-abuse.
This means every parent can learn to become an advocate for their vulnerable children.

1 in 5 boys and 1 in 3 girls will become targets of sexual abuse… click here for Lauren’s Kids to help you prevent it!

Be willing to advocate for siblings who are consistently more innocent, naïve or suggestible.

Do not allow older children to constantly “do things” for younger children. Model patience as they learn to take care of themselves.

Do not allow older children (including siblings) to “baby-sit”.

90% of sexual abuse is perpetrated on children by someone you know and trust.

1 in 5 boys and 1 in 3 girls will become targets of sexual abuse… learn how to prevent it here!

Pay attention to how “babies” are treated in your home. When you talk to or about your youngest born, remember first and foremost they are a person.
How you talk to and treat the baby in front of siblings can build up or degrade that person’s identity within (and outside) the family.
If you get into the bad habit of talking about the baby of the family to older siblings, negative patterns of identity can continue into and throughout adulthood.
Many estrangement issues start when the “baby” grows up and refuses to tolerate being the topic of gossip and family stories.
Ask if a younger sibling is okay with a nickname—even if it is common. For example, someone with the name Evangelina may want to be called “Evie” or “Angie” or “Lina”. Or they may only want to be addressed as “Evangelina”.
Do not assume you know what your child wants to be called. Ask them. Keep the lines of communication open.
Pay attention to how older siblings say their sibling’s name (mockingly?). How our names get pronounced is important to our identity.
At least 35% of sibling abuse survivors experience or initiate relational “cut-offs” in adulthood, compared to less than 6% of the general population.
Forced or self-initiated estrangement has serious repercussions on extended family ties, spousal relationships, and the community at large.

You can make changes right now. Your family’s future is worth your effort and bravery.

Your children cannot afford for you to wait and see what happens…

Survivors often endure emotional numbness and a shattered sense of self as they grapple with the aftermath including:

A range of associated emotional and physical symptoms become overwhelming.
Also, emotional turmoil, severe self-esteem issues, self-harm, and identity struggles are daily realities.
Click to learn more...
Long-term “toxic stress” encountered in childhood can cause depression, physical weakness, and must higher susceptibility to fatal diseases including heart disease and cancer.
Survivors of sibling bullying-abuse distance themselves from family and friends in order to heal and escape being manipulated into abuse again.
This can further exacerbate quality of life challenges and emotional struggles.
Job instability, frequent job-change, inability to cope with dominating coworkers or harsh supervisors causes sporadic employment.
In addition, survivors are more susceptible to peer/school and workplace bullying, leading to further stress and career disruptions.