reality check…

sampling the sibling abuse research

Here’s just a few of the topics researched, listed below with Journal article summaries and abbreviated citations…

Is it sibling rivalry or sibling abuse?

Where is the line between sibling rivalry and sibling abuse? What can a parent look for to answer this deeply important question?

The University of New Hampshire SAARA Initiative's Corinna Jenkins Tucker suggests these guidelines:

• Is physical violence (e.g., hitting, kicking, shoving) occurring in children beyond the toddler years?

• Are sibling conflicts consistently settled by one sibling "winning" the fight?

• Is the behavior physically or emotionally harmful? Does it carry a genuine risk of harm?

• Is the behavior planned or patterned, suggesting an intent to harm?

• Does a sibling feel victimized, targeted, frequently intimidated, and/or afraid?

• Has the behavior escalated over time, becoming more aggressive and/or injurious?

• Is there a consistent power differential between the siblings?

For more details, please look at these references:

Tucker, Corinna Jenkins, Whitworth, Tanya Rouleau and Finkelhor, David, Fall 2023 "What is the Line: When Does Sibling Conflict, Teasing, and Roughhousing Become Something More Serious?" (SAARA Bulletin #4) University of New Hampshire, Crimes against Children Research Center https://www.unh.edu/ccrc/resource/saara-bulletin-4

Kiselica, Mark S., (2007) Sibling Maltreatment: The Forgotten Abuse, Journal of Counseling and Development: JCD 85 (2)

Why don't children tell when their sibling harms them?

(Adapted from research synthesized by University of New Hampshire's SAARA Initiative and republished here. Specific sources cited below.)

Children stay silent because:

1. Parental Manipulation, Bullying, or Aggression is normalized or downplayed in the family.

2. Self-blame: When bullying, manipulation, or aggression is allowed/modeled by parents, children blame themselves or dismiss the abuse done against them as a normal way of relating.

3. Lack of societal knowledge: Educators and child-care workers are not trained to recognize symptoms of sibling bullying-abuse; it is not yet widelydefined as domestic violence and has yet to be included in legislated definitions by some government agencies responsible for child welfare.

4. Internal Emotional Struggle: Harmed children can experience fear of retaliation from siblings, fear of misdirected discipline from parents who blame them for the abuse, leading to confusion, shame, and guilt.

5. Complex emotions: Targets of abuse may want to seek help but are taught by parents to avoid adding stress to the family. Or if they try fighting back, they may feel they don’t deserve help.

6. Peace-making behaviors mask abuse: When children try to please aggressive siblings, give them space, or avoid them altogether, parents may think there is no problem.

Elliott, K., Fitz‐Gibbon, K., & Maher, J. (2020). Sibling violence: Understanding experiences, impacts, and the need for nuanced responses. The British Journal of Sociology, 71(1), 168–182. https://doi.org/10/grrzcv

Tucker, C. J., & Kazura, K. (2013). Parental responses to school-aged children’s sibling conflict. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 22(5), 737–745. https://doi.org/10/f42vzf

Tucker, C. J., Whitworth, T. R., Finkelhor, D. (2023). Recommendations for parents on managing sibling conflict and aggression (SAARA Bulletin #2). Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. https://www.unh.edu/ccrc/resource/saara-bulletin-2

Wiehe, V. R. (1997). Sibling abuse: Hidden physical, emotional, and sexual trauma (2nd edition). SAGE Publications, Inc.

The Long-Term Impact of Sibling Aggression on Adults

Sibling relationships are lifelong and complex. What does the scope of the complexity include for the survivor of sibling bullying-abuse?

1. Having an aggressive or distant sibling relationship in adulthood may result in feeling powerless and hopeless.

2. Engaging in self-blame can be an everyday battle.

3. Incidents of sibling victimization also can impact relationships with other siblings and parents, creating divided loyalties within the family.

4. The internal and external conflict(s) can be especially relevant when adult siblings confront end-of-life issues for their parents.

For a complete look at the content, follow these sources:

Meyers, A. (2016). Trauma and recovery: Factors contributing to resiliency of survivors of sibling abuse. The Family Journal, 24(2), 147-156. https://doi.org/10/gsb5rz

Tucker, C. J., Finkelhor, D., & Turner, H. (2023). Patterns of sibling aggression and mental health in childhood and adolescence. Journal of Family Trauma, Child Custody & Child Development. https://doi.org/10/kk44

Tucker, C. J., Whitworth, T. R., & Finkelhor, D. (2023). What is the line? When does sibling conflict, teasing, and rough-housing become something more serious? (SAARA Bulletin #4). Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. https://www.unh.edu/ccrc/resource/saara-bulletin-4