Sibling abuse is the #1 form of domestic abuse. It’s five times more common than spousal/romantic partner or parent-child abuse. It hurts 1 in 3 children.
Sibling abuse includes bullying, taunting, verbal threats, physical aggression, and many other seemingly “common” behaviors.
If these behaviors are routinely overlooked, it indicates there is (or will be) sibling abuse in the home.
I've never heard of sibling abuse... WHAT IS IT?
Bullied siblings are conditioned to accept their suffering as normal. This is why sibling abuse is called "hidden" or "forgotten" abuse.
Victims of sibling maltreatment are usually silenced by the aggressive sibling(s), and their cries for help seem to be ignored by parents.
If sibling aggression is allowed in your home, it pushes the bullied sibling into despair and hopelessness.
It seems normal. Is it really DOMESTIC abuse?
“If confronted, 90% of aggressive siblings deny or lie about their wrongdoing, and remain unapologetic if confronted about their behavior.”
Parenting isn’t easy! It’s stressful to keep the home running.
Sibling aggression can be a child’s way of reacting to household tension, aggression, or manipulation.
Household stress reproduces itself in cunning ways, so parents must pay close attention to their kids’ interactions.
Any antagonizing, exerting power, instilling fear, or manipulating a weaker or younger sibling is a serious warning sign.
“One day Cain suggested to his brother,
‘Let’s go out into the fields.’”
Doesn’t every family have its problems?
By legal definition, domestic abuse occurs when one sibling:
*causes another sibling emotional distress through continual harassment
*acts in a way that torments, terrorizes, terrifies another sibling
*places the other sibling in fear of serious bodily injury
*tries or intentionally causes another sibling bodily harm
*sexually assaults or abuses another sibling
Children between the ages of 6 and 15 can be charged with juvenile crimes for sibling abuse in many states.
—adapted from Breedenlaw.com
Yes! And you can find solutions to end sibling bullying when you realize it’s a serious problem. It’s okay to admit things need to change in your home.
The repetitive trauma of sibling bullying causes profound stress on the targeted child, resulting in complex-PTSD.
Its cumulative effects can exceed the impact of a serious violent assault.
Studies link sibling bullying to poor mental and physical health, including shorter lifespan.
The bullied sibling will likely face a lifetime of troubled relationships with parents, peers, and partners.
sibling bullying CAUSES SEVERE TRAUMA
You can easily see the difference if you watch closely.
Equal aggression between equally matched siblings is rivalry. Mutual competition for parental attention or limited resources is rivalry.
Repeated control, insult, or harm directed at a smaller, younger, or less popular sibling is abuse.
These are only some typical bullying-abuse behaviors. There is no limit, and many others are unique to each child or household:
Making fun of, verbal put-downs, or name calling
Frequent rejecting, isolating, alienating from sibling interactions
Verbal threats of bodily harm like “I’m gonna hurt you” or “I could throw you off this bridge”
Intensifying aggression when a child shows discomfort or asks it to stop
Trickery or games one sibling always loses or gets “psyched” out by
Physical aggression or lop-sided rough-housing, slapping, hitting
Involving the aggressive siblings’ friends in taunting/bullying
Smothering with pillows/bedding
Aggressive tickling resulting in bruises or mental overwhelm
Destroying, coercing, or tricking the target out of possessions or money
Humiliating, embarrassing, shaming in front of peers or other family members
Ignoring or violating physical boundaries or personal/private space
what behaviors SHOULD i look for?
Is it rivalry or abuse?
Watch for patterns where one sibling, often older or more dominant, consistently targets a younger, smaller, or less popular sibling.
Watch for a vulnerable sibling going out of their way to avoid a sibling, or be overly compliant when interacting with a sibling.
How is my ‘GOOD KID’ an abuser?
This is not for blame… this is for prevention and intervention.
All your children can live longer healthier lives if you pay attention today!
Abuse starts when one sibling targets to manipulate, dominate, devalue, degrade, harm, or insult a more vulnerable sibling.
It is one-sided, frequent, and often subtle. Abuse also exploits the vulnerable sibling’s trust or admiration of the aggressive sibling.
be brave… BE CONSISTENT
Never downplay these signs as “normal phases” of childhood.
Sibling abuse often starts early. It easily becomes normalized in the mind of the victim—and the household.
Address maltreatment of a younger or more vulnerable child immediately.
Don’t wait for the outward symptoms. If you notice unexplained injuries, fear or avoidance of siblings, withdrawal, loss of interest, sleep disturbances, low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression… your child may already be a victim.
SIBLING ABUSE FOREVER ENDED INC IS A 501(C)(3) NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION WHOLEHEARTEDLY COMMITTED TO PREVENTING CRUELTY TO CHILDREN BY RAISING AWARENESS OF SIBLING ABUSE THROUGH EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES, CREATIVE MASS MEDIA AND COLLABORATIVE PARTNERSHIPS.
All information contained within this website is for educational purposes only and does not claim to replace medical advice from licensed practitioners. Seek medical attention if you are experiencing symptoms of a serious medical or psychological condition.
