Back to School!

Teacher, you’re amped up for another great year.  The anticipation is high.  You’re excited about your new class, decorating your new classroom, hoping they’ll love it and love you! 

And then some of your students walk through the doors of your classroom, and instead of seeming refreshed from that long summer break… they seem… burned out?

What?!  What just happened?

Could it be sibling abuse?  Let’s face it.  Especially if you’re a survivor of sibling bullying, you know it’s exhausting on the adrenal system to live in a state of constant fear, hyper-vigilance and “self-defense” mode. 

Some of your students have been living on high-alert all summer long, dodging older siblings, dodging demeaning remarks or being made fun of or feeling mocked almost constantly. They’re exhausted from being manipulated and coerced all summer long. 

Being on “high-alert” all summer can mean brain fog, tiredness and a weakened immune system… just in time to face yet another exciting, fast-paced or maybe even grueling upcoming school year. 

Pro Tip 1: 

Make sure you know who the ‘youngests’ or ‘younger” children (in their families of origin) are in your classroom.  While you will keep an eye out for all vulnerable children, remember oldests are more likely to advocate for themselves or be independent and self-sustaining. 

Younger children who are controlled or dominated are oftentimes forced into “people pleasing” strategies in order to get their needs met while avoiding further abuse or negativity.

Pro Tip 2: 

When I was a teacher (and this may have been the flexibility offered in private Catholic schools), I made sure to include my phone number on my most important correspondences.  As an inner-city teacher on Chicago’s south side, I had eleven and twelve year old students who were responsible for younger siblings as young as two years old (while single mom went from her full-time job to night school each day). 

I’d have phone calls at ten or 11 pm at night asking me any number of questions about homework, or how to make macaroni and cheese from the box.

Remember, targets of sibling abuse learn they can trust no one.  But as the classroom teacher, studies show YOU are the #1 factor in the lives of your students.  You have the rare opportunity to build trust with your students each and every day over the course of an entire school year. 

Don’t take this lightly.  You may be a lifeline for a child in your classroom or school.